Thursday, November 20, 2008

alt.suicide.methods

Thinking of killing yourself? Some would tell you to seek counseling or call a suicide hotline. Not your friend JOO however. You should visit the Google group alt.suicide.methods. You will be feeling better about your life in no time, because at least you're not one of those losers. The following are some insights I've gained from browsing that bulletin board:

  • The only 100% effective suicide method is shooting yourself in the face with a shotgun. You could miss with any other kind of gun and leave yourself a vegetable. Then your life would really be a failure. Similar failures could occur with drug overdoses, car accidents, hanging...
  • It's important to consider who will find your body. I personally wouldn't want my mom discovering my corpse with my brain sprayed all over my apartment. If the thought of a loved one needing to identify your nearly decapitated body bothers you, perhaps you're not really ready to die.
  • Bullets are often found in the wall behind a person who commits suicide via gunshot. This is because they have buyer's remorse. So if you want to murder someone and make it look like a suicide, shoot the wall behind them a couple times.
  • Depression is a bitch and nothing to be taken lightly. The only way to fight it is to get out there and live your life. Yes, therapy and medication help people, but sitting in your house dwelling on how much you hate life doesn't help anything. The meaning of life is found in work, learning, developing your skills and personality, enjoying music, art, sports, cars, whatever, and LIVING. Not sitting on the computer contemplating dying.

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