Monday, August 28, 2006

The Cheeto Gang

Over at my favorite blog, DListed, the comment threads are a bit of a free-for-all. They tend to veer off-topic quite a bit, which is apparently contrary to the rules of netiquette. Excuse me while I puke after I use that word. It’s not so much that the posts are off-topic, but often an aspect of the topic starts a whole new conversation on its own. Also, DListed has many regular commenters, which leads to a bit of “Hi, how’s it going,” type stuff. Occasionally a thread gets to the point where it no longer has anything to do with the topic and it becomes a personal conversation. Well, that wasn’t the case about two months ago, when much more personal conversation was tolerated. There was a clique of commenter known as the Cheeto gang. They had many inside jokes and were off-topic more often than on, but they were generally funny, clever and entertaining. In some thread that was deleted before I got the pleasure of reading it they were constantly being picked on by this LaGarce character, who was basically a French idiot who could barely write English making irritating, insulting comments. The Cheeto gang began endlessly bugging Michael K to ban LaGarce from commenting, citing that he was off-topic, racist, and offensive (talk about kiddy porn, etc). Michael K responded that if he was going to ban LaGarce on those grounds, most of their conversational commenting would have to be banned as well. I don’t agree with his reasoning, since LaGarce wasn’t contributing anything to the entertainment value of the site, while the Cheetos did. However, it’s his site and he can run it as he chooses. Well, the Cheetos decide to “hit MK where it hurts” and boycott his site. And his hits go up after their boycott begins. The thing they didn’t understand is that their comments weren’t bringing anyone to DListed. The content of the blog draws the hits, while the comments are just value added. The gang sets up their own blog to converse among themselves, which is a great idea. The main topic of the blog…lurking on DListed to see who’s commenting, and talking shmack about the regular commenters who didn’t go along with the boycott. Their level of obsession about DListed is borderline psycho. The only proof of this blog’s existence that I’ve seen was posted in a comment thread on DListed a few day’s ago. Apparently one of the Cheetos was a traitor and he/she revealed the gang’s blog to the DListed audience. He/she posted two long threads consisting of insulting comments about Michael K and other posters back from when the boycott first started in early July. Lately, some of those Cheetos have been reappearing on the comment threads like nothing happened, and rumors are flying that they post anonymously to insult the “new” regulars and complain about being OFF TOPIC. Of all things, hmmm. I believe the traitor Cheeto waited until now, when a steady stream of Cheetos come trickling back, to out them. Am I glad he/she did? Kind of, because this whole thing is like an internet soap opera, honestly. But it’s like fifth grade. But now, I am going to call out some of those Cheetos (I have opinions about some of the other posters on DListed as well, but I am going to keep those to myself):

Mouse: ringleader of Cheetos. Constantly online. Supposedly has a big-dicked Latino boyfriend named Rey. Rarely ever posts funny or interesting comments, but for some reason has lots of followers.
Scout: Made herself a disturbing animated avatar of Michael K’s face disappearing into a black and red wave. Comments were consistently well-written and interesting.
Sassy Ass: called out Michael K on the Cheeto blog and returned to DListed like nothing happened, and was busted.
Little Bunny Foo Foo: some of the best comments on DListed. Unfortunately a psycho.
Katie Scarlett: alleged DListed mole for the Cheetos.

Why are (I’m assuming) adults wasting their time obsessing over strangers commenting on a website? I am the last person to use the “you fat virgin living in your parent’s basement online all day” card, but I think there are some overweight, chaste, regressed teenagers in this Cheeto crew. Cheetos: go outside, walk to a liquor store, and get drunk on the walk back. Talk to people on the street. Go home, read a non-tabloid newspaper with news in it. Take a nap. Repeat, over and over, until that thing we call FRIENDSHIP WITH REAL PEOPLE develops. Maybe get a job that challenges you a little bit so you don’t spend 40 hours a week plotting internet revenge. If you concentrated on your offline life as hard as your online life, you may not be such (troll cliché coming up) H8erzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!

Sunday Night TV

Two of my favorite TV shows are on Sunday nights, Intervention and Flavor of Love. I think Michael K over at DListed has Flavor of Love covered, so I’m going to tell you a little about Intervention. Every show follows the same script:

Intro: So-and-So and So-and-So have agreed to be in a documentary about addiction. They have no idea they will soon face an intervention.

Scene 1: Subject looks into the camera, spells out his or her first name (“My name is Amy, A-M-Y”) and tells us what their problem is (“and I’m a heroin and meth addict.”)

Scene 2: Family and friends tell the audience about the subject’s crazy behavior, and then tell us how they weren’t always that way, and include some fond memories and childhood pictures.


Scene 3: We are treated to a typical day in the subject’s life, usually including the crazy stuff they go through to “score.”


Scene 4: Subject’s family, and one or two former close friends from the “pre-addiction” days, gather with the interventionist and have a meeting to get them all on the same page. The interventionists are Jeff VanVonderen and Candy something-or-other.

Scene 5: The day of the intervention. Family and friends gather in a hotel room where the subject is supposed to meet them for the final interview for the “documentary.” Subject shows up and hugs and kisses amongst the friends and relatives they haven’t seen for a while commence. Interventionist stands up, shakes the subject’s hand and says “These people love you a whole lot and they have some things to tell you,” or words to that effect. The family begins to read HIGHLY SCRIPTED letters to the subject:

Intervention letter script:

A pleasant memory about pre-addiction times with the subject

How the subject’s addiction has negatively affected the loved one’s relationship with him or her

A plea for the subject to enter treatment today (emphasize today)

At this point, the subject either protests his or her need for treatment at all, or else tries to buy time before he or she has to leave to “handle some business.” In other words, they want one last chance to get fucked up. Jeff or Candy informs him or her that the family will provide any resources the subject needs to get his or her affairs in order before he or she leaves for treatment. This inspires a round of “But this, but that” protests from the subject, all of which are masterfully refuted by the interventionists. Many subjects accept treatment at this point. Some of the more stubborn subjects need to hear the final item in the intervention letters, the consequences. Here, the family members and friends threaten to end all financial and emotional support for the subject and issue the ultimatum that if the subject doesn’t accept treatment TODAY that their relationships will be terminated. In every episode I’ve seen, even the most addicted subjects agree to enter treatment at this point.


Scene 6: The subject is shown on an airplane traveling to some treatment center somewhere. He or she is introduced to the people who run the facility, and is shown settling into their new home.

Scene 7: Where are they now? This is where we find out, via short interviews and white words on a black background, whether or not the subject completed treatment and remained clean. Some do, some don’t. Some are clean for a while, and then start using again.

Why do I like this show so much?

It’s entertaining to watch the hoops these crazy people jump through in their everyday lives simply to maintain their addicted lifestyle
Every single episode is the same, which adds a certain cheesy quality—Addicts are so predictable!
The interventionists are humorous in their staunch beliefs that these people WILL DIE if they don’t go to treatment TODAY, and their “recovery” attitudes in general
I have been around many, many people with substance abuse issues and I have had to confront them myself, so it hits close to home
Most importantly, Intervention raises interesting issues regarding the dynamics between the addict’s lifestyle and how their loved ones enable that lifestyle. It lets you draw your own conclusions about those connections, unlike so many shows that beat the viewer over the head with “explanations” of the “issues” involved.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Read This!

This is so awesome that I can't even think of anything to say right now!

You suck!

In the recent debate between the Republican candidates for Wisconsin attorney general, candidate J.B. Van Hollen responded to an interruption by his opponent, Paul Bucher, with the following: “Will you ever listen? That's why you suck, Paul, because you only listen to people who agree with you.” You suck? This man is running for attorney general, the state’s top prosecutor. So, will he tell defense attorneys, “Hey, your evidence sucks,” if he’s elected? Lawyers graduate with essentially doctorate degrees, they have to pass several standardized tests, and learn lots of Latin terms. After all that, the best rebuff to a debate opponent that he can come up with is “you suck”?

By the way, don’t these two look like a couple of weenies?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

What does Joo mean?

There is an episode of South Park where the gang is building a ladder to Heaven to visit their dead friend Kenny. They are discussing why the ladder isn't reaching Heaven when Eric Cartman suggests that the reason their ladder isn't working is that one of them doesn't believe enough; that one of them is a JOO. You see, Kyle is Jewish, and Cartman is a racist a-hole who can't spell. One of my friends and I are huge South Park fans, and we share South Park references all the time. JOO is our nickname for each other.

A short explanation of the situation in the Middle East:

The world’s three major religions claim Palestine as a Holy Land, and they’ve been fighting over it throughout history. Great Britain won the Holy Land, currently known as Israel and Jordan, from the Ottoman Empire after World War I. Jordan is now an Arab/Muslim country, but Israel has a much more complicated story. The British decided to designate the area west of the river Jordan as Israel, for the Jews, and east of the river as an Arab state, Jordan. The Arabs aren’t satisfied with just having the land east of the river Jordan, however. The United Nations intervenes and declares that the Arabs should rule over Jordan, the West Bank, and the Gaza Strip, and the Israelis would rule over the rest of the land west of the river. The Israelis accept this deal, the Arabs reject it. Terrorism and fighting has occurred basically non-stop since. The Palestinians and their “supporters” argue that they are simply fighting to give the Palestinians their own country/home. That is a lie. In the past year, Israel has essentially given the Palestinians their own state. They have abandoned all settlements in the Gaza Strip and declared it an area of Palestinian self-rule. Yet the terrorism continues, and the fighting gets worse. The Palestinians and their benefactors in the Arab world (Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, etc.) are emboldened as they feel they are closer to achieving their goal, the destruction of Israel, reclaiming the Holy Land for the Arabs, and the death or flight of all the Jews from the Middle East. They fight a war with actual weapons, and they fight a war against the Western way of life by indoctrinating young Arabs with their racist beliefs. This has given rise to the international terrorism against any Western countries, regardless of whether or not they support Israel. The powers-that-be in the Arab world are using the Palestinians to achieve their own goals.


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Hot Slut of the Day Update!

This is not a Jessica McBride fansite by the way. BUT, this quote from Laurel Walker's column in today's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel illustrates why Jessica qualifies as a hot slut. "There was the time, too...that fledgling radio talker Jessica McBride, got so ticked off at me for my columns about [Jessica's husband] and her political pals that she tried to get me fired with a days-long rant on her internet blog..." Hee hee hee. She plays dirty!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Milwaukee Hot Slut of the Day!

Milwaukee Hot Slut of the Day!
(huge shoutout to Michael K and DListed!)

Jessica McBride

(disclaimer: Being the HSotD is a compliment! It means that I’m cool with someone’s style, image and what they stand for. I may make fun of the HS in a lighthearted manner, but it is purely out of respect!)

Why is Jessica the MHSotD?

She’s not afraid to loudly proclaim her opinion over that of a guest or a caller. This quality may not be conducive to normal conversation, but it makes for awesome radio!